Challenging Year of 2010

This year,2010, supposed to be my year. A tiger year. But it's full with challenges. Sometimes I really don't know how to handle all this things. It's really annoying. I'm hurt..I'm tired..I fall sick for so many times..

Now it's going to end already. But I'm not sure whether the challenges will also end or continues..GOD, I'm really tired with all the problems happened within this year..I wish I could have a better life from next year onwards..

wish for no more tears..Wish for no more sickness..Wish for no more pains..Wish for no more heartbreaks..Wish for no more memories come back...Wish for it..=(

My Dad..

Dad..
What happen to you my dear dad? Suddenly you do something that I never expect..what happen dad? Do you feel not well? Are you sick dad? Please dad, take care of yourself. Go and see the doctor..Be careful with the food you take..Take care of your health..Please don't fall sick..I'm far away here..I'm really worried about you dad..Erm..I miss you daddy..

Heart Sick!

Yesterday evening, around 5pm my boss ask me for a talk about work and some personal things. For about an hour we're discussing so many things. But there are things that really makes me feel heart sick!

I don't know why they have to be jealous with me..Do I disturb you guys doing your work? I did back up you guys when you all having trouble, didn't I? What else you expect me to do so that you are willing to talk good about me? Why should you give such a nonsense info to boss?

Even if I do some stupid things, it never disturb my work. And I'll never let my personal things to disturb my work. And I'll never do a bad things in a place where I work. You guys never expect what will I do if I know all this things right? Be careful guys, I'm longer believe anyone of you. Even maybe not all is involve, but I can't trust anyone anymore for my own sake.

I've done so many things to appreciate you guys as my friends. But this is how you all treating me?? NO MORE TRUST from now on. I'm really feel heart sick, even boss said 'don't feel heart sick,k..'..Sir, I'm sorry for that. I don't think I can just let it be.

I've been working here almost 1 year, and I've done so many things to help you. I've tried my best to do my works so that you can satisfied with me. I've tried to make you proud of me. But I never notice that you will also check on my personal life. Sir, for whatever I've done in my personal life, is nothing to do with my work performance. I'm trying my best to help you Sir..I already fall in love with this place, to work here as your assistance, even I've been told that not everyone is willing to work just like what I've done for my work here.

Even some people saying that you are just taking advantage of me because I'm always doing the job specs that actually is not my responsibilities, I'm still doing it. For you Sir, as my boss..Because I know that you are a good boss that I may can't get outside elsewhere..But Sir, I still feel heart sick..until at this moment..And I keep on thinking, will you believe them more than me till you lose your trust on me? I wonder how..hurm..

It Comes Again...

This morning when I wake up, I got an SMS and a miscall from him..An SMS saying that he still can't forget me even he already have a new GF..he just be with that girl with no feel..Hurmm..

If he is not ready to forget me, why would he accept that girl? B..please don't break her heart..I believe that girl is trying her best to win your heart. Don't disappoint her just because of me..

I'm also trying my best to keep away our memories, because I don't want to break anyone's heart anymore..I've promised to my mother and my partner, that I'm not going to turn back..And for sure, I'm not going to hurt your girl's heart because you already going on steady with her..And I'm also a girl, so I can understand her feeling when the person that we love still keep on thinking about the past..

B..lets try our best to keep away all our memories..Just for the sake of our new partners..Please..I beg you..I don't want something else happen if we can't handle our feeling..It's too dangerous..

Feeling hurt...but for what?

These few days I keep on remembering him..Til today, I try to access him thru facebook..And I saw his pictures...with his new gf...My God, my heart wanna boost! Feel like I can't accept it..

Finally, he reveal it.His new girl..I don't know what to say..Even I'm also already with someone, I never ready to reveal him to any of my old friends..Only my recent colleagues know him, just because we work on the same company..

B, I just can wish you congratulation...May she can treat you well..Give you happiness more than what I've gave you..Good looking, almost same height with you right? Erm..younger than us also..Not bad at all..I just wish you both all the best..

Treat her well..Loves her more than you do to me.Take a good care of her..Make sure you don't just play around with her..Go ahead with your life plan..have a good life..And never forget me in your pray..

For My Dear...

Suddenly this few days I keep on thinking about you. Just like you are always here by my side. I still can remember all the things that we had done together. All our memories here and there. Where had we gone together, what's our routine on weekend, how good your family treat me..All our memories,is like everywhere in my mind nowadays..

I have to say that I'm very lucky to have you as my special..You complete me, you cheer up my life. Seriously, I'm saying that with all my heart..But..you are no more by my side..And I'm the one who chase you away from me..=( I'm really hurt, but I have no choice..I have to do it..Dear...I still missing you..Swear to God,I still can't forget you..

I'm sorry that I have to hurt you this way..I will always pray for you..All the best in your life my dear..I don't think that I can turn back the time, so don't ever look for me again..Live up your life..Go and get a good spouse for yourself. I'm sure you will get a better person than me..I wish you all the best my dear..

And your will always here in my heart..and my heart will always goes on...(!_!)

A new...life?

It has been a while since I've been writing here...hurm...so many changes happen in my life this few months..I'm not sure should it be, or should not. I don't know if this is the best choice, or the worst in my life..

Mum..I wish u are happy now..Coz I'm not longer in a relationship with that guy..

Dad..I wish u will get well soon..Take care of your health..Be careful with your blood pressure..

Pa..thanks for always be by my side..Even it's hard for us, we manage to stay together..

B..I'm sorry for everything..I know I'm wrong..I've hurt you..but you don't have to know why I'm doing all this..All you have to know that I'm not a right person for you..

Uncle..I'm sorry coz I've broke your trust on me..

Auntie..I'm deeply sorry for not giving a second chance for your son..

Guys..I'm sorry that I can't longer spare a time with you all..

Amim..I'm sorry that can't hug n kiss u anymore..Grow up nicely my little baby..

Friends..I'm sorry for being away from everyone for a long time..

Sir..I'm sorry for sometimes I'm not doing my job properly..

Everybody..please forgive me..

I'm trying my best to live a new life nowadays..But it's really hard for me..And I'm really scared to think about my future..What will happen soon? I really have no idea..